Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

I get a lot of questions about rehearsal and rehearsal dinner etiquette. Just about every wedding in fact. So I want to share some of my own wisdom and that of Martha Stewart to help guide your plans for the pre-wedding event.

Rehearsal from Martha:
The wedding rehearsal is a practice of the ceremony from beginning to end, allowing everybody involved to feel more confident about what will happen the next day. Anyone who plays a role in the ceremony should attend. This includes the officiant, the wedding party, readers, and parents. Walk through the ceremony, establishing the pace and timing, in the order each element will occur, and make sure all of the participants know their responsibilities. Bring the unity candle or anything else you will want to have in place for the following day. It's also smart to have some programs and copies of any readings on hand for people to follow along.

From Katie:
Music-I also like to ask the musicians and/or the DJ to attend rehearsal. More often than not the music is what signals the start of a particular portion of the ceremony. If the musicians don't rehearse with us, how will they know when to start.

Marriage License-Bring your marriage license. There are two parts to your marriage license. The pretty part and the official part. I suggest getting, at least, the official part done before the wedding and leave the pretty part for pictures on the wedding day. This allows you to make sure your wedding is official done before you leave for your honeymoon.

Guest book-Bring your guest book. All of your family and friends involved at the wedding will be very busy on the day of. Give them some time to write their congratulations down while them have time. This can work at both the rehearsal and the dinner.


Rehearsal dinner from Martha:
The decisions have all been made, and your loved ones are arriving in town. It's the eve of your wedding and time to relax before the excitement of the day dawns. The rehearsal dinner is a wonderful opportunity to savor this special moment with good friends and family in an intimate setting. Depending on the guest list and budget, and the wishes of the hosts, the event can be anything from a formal banquet to a casual outdoor picnic.
 
From Katie:
Who pays-Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is paid for by the grooms parents. I suggest talking with your groom in private to see if this tradition will be followed. If so, then I suggest talking with your mother-in-law to be in private about guest list and budget. This will help relieve some stress and allow you to connect with her without making her feel awkward.

Who's invited-Most often the rehearsal dinner if for those involved in the rehearsal and their immediate family. However, it is not uncommon to extend an invitation to those out of town guest who arrive the day before. Make sure to discuss with your groom and whoever is paying how additional guests will be paid for before they are invited. You, or your parents, might want to pitch in a few bucks to cover any guest overage.

Invites-It is best to send out an invitation to both the rehearsal and dinner. This ensures that everyone knows where and when they are suppose to be there. The invites can be as informal as an electronic invitation to a scaled down version of your wedding invites. Either way, letting everyone involved know what you need them to do is always a good thing.
 
For more etiquette help feel free to email me with your questions, kzungia@withthisringwedding.com 

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